Ted's Passing

Mark Berry (San Diego Friend) - added December 15, 2007

Late in the morning on Saturday, December 8, Ted drove a short distance from his apartment to a nearby store. It had been raining, so the pavement would have been slick. As he was walking towards the store, Ted suffered a heart attack and fell (we're not sure in what order). In spite of the life-saving efforts of passersby, the police, and paramedics, Ted never regained consciousness.

On Friday afternoon, December 14, a few close friends gathered with our pastor for a bedside service for Ted at the hospital. After singing, praying, reading Scripture, and sharing communion, we said good-bye. Ted passed away peacefully a few minutes later.

When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound
and time shall be no more
And the morning breaks eternal bright and fair
When the saved on earth shall gather
over on the other shore
And the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there

When the roll (when the roll) is called up yonder
When the roll (when the roll) is called up yonder
When the roll (when the roll) is called up yonder
When the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there

On that bright and cloudless morning
when the dead in Christ shall rise
And the glory of His resurrection share
When His chosen ones shall gather
to their home beyond the skies
And the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there

Let us labor for the Master
from the dawn til setting sun
Let us talk of all His wondrous love and care
Then when all of life is over
and our work on earth is done
And the roll is called up yonder, I'll be there

I Still Can't Believe He's Gone

Christopher Wick (Friend) - added December 23, 2007

Even though Ted has been gone for more than a week, I've still called his cell phone two or three times since then.  Part of me doesn't want to believe that he's gone and the other part of me just wants to hear the voice of a man I came to know and trust as such a close friend.

I'm so glad that Ted made it back to San Diego.  It's the city he loved and identified with and I know it meant the world to him to spend his last days among his cherished friends.  Ted loved Pacific Beach United Methodist Church and Ted loved his "extended family" at Island Prime, Indigo Grill, and Kemosabe.  I think Ted probably felt more "at home" there than anywhere else on earth.  

Ted, I miss our regular phone chats and I miss our many dinners out in San Diego.  I know you are in a much better place but the selfish part of me wishes you were still here with us.  Goodbye my friend. 

partner/island prime, c level, indigo grill, kemo sabe

Deborah Scott (friend) - added December 21, 2007

I have to say that I was not aware of how hard of a time I would have with Ted's passing.

I suppose we take for granted those things which we assume will stay constant.

Ted was a huge part of my life.  I feel so selfish to think of Ted in these terms, but coming to terms with the loss of Ted,  becomes harder with each passing day.

This afternoon I placed Ted's barstool at the end of the bar, a brass plaque with the inscripted word, "TEDMAN," attached to the back of the stool.  I will pass by this plaque many times a day; I'm sure not once without remembering my friend and companion.  I just hope in time, I will smile as I pass by.  

How can you forget his laugh?

Tim Adams (Church Friend) - added December 21, 2007

How could anyone who has met Ted Thurston ever forget his laugh? It was a laugh that was contagious and could be heard across the church courtyard or the bar at C-Level. Ted was in the house and everyone knew the life of the party was here! 

I will miss you and your laugh my friend! And I will miss our chats about classic cars we love so much, and great hymns of the church we both grew up with and loved to sing. For you Ted the organ could never be loud enough!!!  And I agree. 

I know you are in that bright red 1959 Cadillac convertible with the top down and the organ music turned up! So sing your heart out my dear friend. Let them know that Ted is on the streets of Heaven! I will know how to find you Ted.....I will just follow the laughter!

Your friend, Tim

Eulogy for Ted's Memorial Service - December 20, 2007

Mark Berry (San Diego Friend) - added December 21, 2007

As far as I know, Ted was not that big of a drinker. Yet I expect that most people here today have seen Ted on a barstool. I know that at least two of Ted’s bartenders are here today, and I hear that there may be a few barstools both in San Diego and in Laguna with Ted’s name on them.

So if Ted didn't go to bars to drink, why was he there? The answer, of course, is people. Ted was a “people person”; in fact, he probably is the definition of a people person. Ted had an amazing ability to put people at ease, to get them talking and laughing, and to regale them with stories and gossip. The room was brighter when Ted was there, so it’s no wonder that he was a welcome presence in countless bars and restaurants.

But Ted’s involvement with people went beyond his ready banter on a barstool. I’ve been blessed over the last couple of weeks to hear stories from many people who had some kind of interaction with Ted. Even if the interaction was a simple business transaction, it seems that people were drawn in by Ted’s affirming and self-effacing manner. Time and again, someone would say, “Ted was a great guy,” or “he was just the nicest man,” and then tell me a story of the impression that Ted had made on them.

Ted had an especially soft spot for young people, many of whom looked up to Ted as a mentor. One person told me this week how Ted had taken him under his wing as he adjusted to life in the big city. A mother told me that Ted attended her son's college graduation. A young woman in Indiana whom Ted was encouraging in her musical career called Ted her “pseudo-grandpa-dad” because, she said, Ted was not old enough to be her grandfather.

Ted was an only child, and was devoted to his parents Don and Freda, shown here on their 65th anniversary in 2005. Ted spent most of the past year in Indiana, helping his mom before and after his father’s death earlier this year. Ted’s “barstool” in Indiana was in a coffee shop next to Taylor University, where he became a beloved friend to many students. Several of his friends from Payne’s Coffee Shop have lit candles on Ted’s memorial web site.

Ted lived in Orange County from about 1980 to 1995. I think this picture is from that time. It is a tribute to Ted's enduring friendships that several folks traveled down from Orange County and Los Angeles to be here today.

After moving to San Diego, Ted started attending this church, Pacific Beach United Methodist, in early 1998. I met Ted when I started coming a few months later. In fact, it was almost impossible to visit this church without meeting Ted. His technique was simple and effective: he would greet and welcome you, find out a little about you, and then introduce you to others with whom you had something in common. Before you knew it, you felt like you belonged. For many years, I sat next to Ted in that third pew from the rear, so his was the hand that I held every week when we sang our closing song.

One year, Ted and I discovered that neither of us had Thanksgiving plans, so we got together and cooked a meal. Well, mostly Ted cooked, and he did a great job of it. Thanksgiving became a tradition for us, and I felt kind of lost last year when he was out of town. It was great to have him back this past Thanksgiving, just a few weeks ago, to resume our tradition. Once again, he cooked the turkey and dressing and brought it over to my place to share with a few friends. This is our most recent picture of Ted.

Ted became a Chartered Life Underwriter in 1975, and was an Accredited Pension Administrator. In 1995, Ted moved from Orange County to San Diego to work for Polycomp, a pension and trust administration company, where he served as the San Diego operations manager for many years. Ted loved taking his employees on elaborate field trips to Disneyland or the zoo, as you can see here. Several of Ted’s Polycomp colleagues are here today. In fact, I understand that some have even flown and driven in from Polycomp’s other offices in Roseville and Woodland Hills to be here.

In the spring of 2000, after Ted and I had become friends at church, he asked me to talk to Polycomp about writing a computer program for them. My first concern was that I had never worked for a friend before, and I told him I would rather keep the friendship than have the job. He didn’t seem to think that it would be a problem, so we started a project that lasted several years and gave me the chance to see Ted in the work environment. It turns out that Ted acted pretty much the same at work as he did at church or in a restaurant: making people feel comfortable, orchestrating and managing by praise and encouragement. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that Ted readily blurred the lines between the terms “colleague” and “friend.”

Ted took early retirement in 2004, but remained active as an industry consultant while he was in San Diego. After he moved back to San Diego from Indiana a couple of months ago, he started working on a contract basis for a former client. During Thanksgiving week this year, Ted completed a grueling 52-hour crash course to become re-certified as a life insurance agent, and planned to take the state insurance exam just two days ago.

Last week, as Ted lay in a coma, I entered his apartment to look for legal documents. What I found was evidence of someone in the middle of living a simple but meaningful life. The church newsletter was on the living room table with an orange peel on top. A single newspaper was folded on the floor. A shopping list was on the table next to the computer. The garbage can in the kitchen was overflowing slightly. Most of his stuff was still in storage, but there were three books in the apartment: a Bible; a small book of inspirational prayers by Robert Schuller, Ted’s long-time pastor at the Crystal Cathedral; and a dog-eared copy of a daily devotional book. I realized that for all of his social skills and activities, Ted was also a man of quiet faith.

That faith has now come to fruition. Ted will celebrate Christmas with the Savior himself. Ted was busy with life. He had no plans to go, and we were certainly not ready to lose him. But, he has been called home. We miss you, Ted, and we love you. Save us a spot at the bar in heaven.

Ted's Laughter . . .

Paul Jacoy (Friend) - added December 18, 2007

I met Ted many years ago when he was living in Pasadena. I was his chiropractor for several years, and we became friends. We shared many meals, parties, workouts and outing, but most of all laughter. Ted had the great ability to make me--and everyone around us--laugh. I enjoyed his friendship and will miss him.

To a loving humble friend

Maggie Atterbury (Staff at the church) - added December 18, 2007

Ted, You will always be in my heart for all the wonderful things you have done for everyone at Pacific Beach UMC. I will not forget dinner at one of your favorite restaurants and then a performance of "Men in Tights." I will miss your hug!

Maggie

Float Fun

Malea Sandstrom (friend from church) - added December 17, 2007

I first got to know Ted when I started helping with the making of the parade float for PBUMC.  For a couple of years we used his parking places below his condo to work on the float.  He made me feel welcome and part of the group. He kept us laughing but also made sure we were keeping things clean so his neighbors wouldn't complain. I remember one time we had to wait for some more supplies to arrive so Ted and I hung out in his condo. He told me about his mother and father and their influence on this life. I always felt a connection with him after that experience. I will miss Ted and think of him sitting in his place at church. Peace be with you Ted!

Ted you will always be the life of the party

Kevin Drake (Friend) - added December 17, 2007

I first met Ted at Marks Restaurant in Laguna Beach in 1994. I used to bartend there and Ted, Dick and Linda were my first regulars. We had so many great nights of sharing laughs together. Ted had and always will have a great sense of humor which is why he was always the life of the party and could always turn a bad situation into a good one just by being Ted. Ted and I became good friends.

 When I would go visit him in San Diego, he would have the night all planned out. He would take me to his favorite hang outs and everybody knew and loved Ted. I felt like a celebrity hanging out with him. 

Ted always kept busy, but he always talked about all of this charity work he would do. He really enjoyed that and most of all he enjoyed helping people. I look up to him in that respect and have paid more attention in helping people out as well as I see the true value of friendship. YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE TAG ON THAT!

I feel blessed to have known Ted for the last 13 years and I am sad for his passing, but I am glad that I got to be a part of his life. I apologize that I cannot make the funeral as I am going back to the mid-west to visit family, but I wanted to pay my respect to a man that had a huge positive impact on my life!

Take care!

Our first new church friend

Clay Underwood (friend from church) - added December 17, 2007

Ted was the first person Chris, Tanner and I met on our very first visit to PBUMC.  Within minutes, Ted made sure we were meeting other families and church members.  He made us feel welcome, included, and part of something really special.  Now, nearly two years later, PBUMC is an integral and important part of our lives.  Though we may not "see" Ted on our next visit to church, I can assure you that we will feel his love and the warmth of his embrace; we will hear his laugh and remember the twinkle in his eyes.  Ted, we love you.

Ted:  My Boss and my Friend

Barbara O'Neill - added December 17, 2007

As the Operations Manager of Polycomp Ted was my Boss for many years, but more importantly, Ted was a dear friend.  I would always light up whenever Ted would come through the door...he was always so much fun to be around.  Ted always had a new and exciting story to tell, causing all those around him to laugh with delight. Ted and I always put up the company Christmas Tree together and I have been sad not to have him here to help since his retirement.

One year, we had a work party at Laguna Beach.  He took us all to the shopping area and tried to keep all of us girls together like an Australian Sheepdog, bounding around doing his best to keep us all together.  At that time we had about 10 women working in the office and believe me it was fun to watch him working us down the street together. I remember Ted being absolutely exasperated by the end of our shopping experience.

My pet name for Ted was Tedley and he would return the favor by calling me Barbley.  

How I will miss my dear and fun friend, Tedley.

Ted as Friend and Client

Mark Berry (San Diego Friend) - added December 15, 2007

I met Ted through the Pacific Beach United Methodist Church; in fact we both became members in November 1998. We often sat next to each other, right side, third pew from the rear. Ted was always early so he got to sit on the end ;).

I enjoyed many outings with Ted over the years, from a simple dinner at a Japanese restaurant, to his birthday bashes at the Cheesecake Factory or Hash House, to trips to the Crystal Cathedral for the Christmas pageant and to Disneyland. We even went to a Tina Turner concert!

Some time ago, Ted and I started spending Thanksgivings together. We both have a rather last-minute, low-stress approach to the holiday. Usually he would cook, which he did very well. One year we went to Island Prime. Last year he was in Indiana, so it was great to have him back this year to resume our tradition. There's a photo in the album of our Thanksgiving gathering just a few weeks ago.

When we met, Ted was managing the local office of a pension and trust administration company. In April 2000, Ted invited me to talk to the company about doing some computer programming work. That project continued for several years, giving me a chance to see Ted in the work environment, where he was greatly admired by his employees and professional colleagues.

Ted officially retired a couple of years ago, but was still active as a consultant in the trust industry. In fact, during Thanksgiving week this year, he completed a grueling 52-hour class to prepare himself to re-certify as a life insurance agent. He was already scheduled to take the state exam.

On the Monday following Ted's fall, I went to his apartment to look for legal documents. In the apartment office, the young woman who had moved Ted in expressed how upset she was when she heard about Ted's accident. "He was just the nicest man!" I was reminded again of Ted's amazing ability to get people to love him within half an hour.

Once inside Ted's modest but comfortable and very neat apartment, I found evidence of someone in the middle of living a simple but meaningful life: the current church newsletter on the living room table, an orange peel on top; a single newspaper on the floor; a dog-eared copy of a devotional book on his nightstand; some fresh packaged food in the fridge; a slightly overflowing kitchen garbage can.

Ted had no plans to go yet, and we were definitely not ready to lose him. And yet it seems that his time had come; in fact, I think he may have lingered one extra week just to give us time to say good-bye. Thanks for that, friend, and for all you have meant to us over the years. We love you!